Top 5 Reasons to Buy Ronald Reagan’s Blood
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Because Ronald Reagan’s blood is for sale
1. Create an army of clones and finally make that awesome Reagans vs. Monkey Army film you’ve always dreamed of
2. Submit it as your own blood, as this is your only hope of passing a drug test
3. Final object needed for seance to resurrect Lincoln’s ghost
4. Contains secret vampire serum passed down for generations among G.O.P. illuminati
5. Would look great next to your jar of John Lennon’s urine
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