Top 5 Key Points of Obama’s Afghanistan Exit Strategy
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1. Armed troops to be replaced by giant missile-proof dome covering all of Afghanistan
2. To facilitate conflict resolution, opium will be introduced to the drinking water supply
3. As a preventative measure against enemy strikes, all of Afghanistan will be blown up
4. As payment for opening up shipping routes, Pakistan will receive assistance setting up a sound banking system styled after our own
5. To confuse potential attackers, “Afghanistan” on maps will now be labeled “Secret Country”
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