Top 5 Things We Would Do with an MMA Championship Belt
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Because it’s being auctioned
1. Wear the belt with no shirt to a public library, and attempt to stare down everyone there
2. Hold up our enormous parachute pants
3. Realize this is probably as close as we will ever get to our dream of becoming the W.W.F. Intercontinental Champion, seeing as how that no longer exists
4. Walk around with confidence that our junk is being protected from radiation
5. Sell it for cheap, fortified wine, just like we do all with our other possessions
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