• by Evan Hoovler
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May 9, 2012 at 4:30 am

Because we finally have one

1. Invest in the housing market, which is opportunistically low for some reason

2. Tell all the destitute that “it’s okay, no one must need any money because we ended up with extra

3. Catch up on our Statue of Liberty payments before she gets repossessed by the French

4. Pay to bulldoze all those depressing empty factories

5. Use holographic technology to add Tupac Shakur to Mount Rushmore

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