Top 5 Things the Libertarian Party Candidate Gary Johnson Will Do If Elected U.S. President

    May 9, 2012 at 6:30 am

    Gary Johnson

    1. Recant on campaign promise of giving soul to Devil if elected

    2. Cash paycheck, then immediately dissolve the office of U.S. president because the position uselessly increases the size of government

    3. Every time people get outraged at inept policy decision, legalize another drug and tell everyone to “just chill out”

    4. For gun control, all the guns in the nation will be rounded up and placed behind a locked door. Each citizen will be given a key as long as they promise to “only unlock it in case of uprising”

    5. Ask his campaign advisers to explain to him what the hell Libertarianism is


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