20 Pictures of Sperm under a High-Powered Microscope
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Turns out, I have slow swimmers. My wife thinks it’s due to stress but I suspect it’s due to the 16 years where I rode a bicycle with no seat. I figure if I studied up on sperm, or at least looked at pics of sperm under a high-powered microscope, I might gain the knowledge needed to create fast-moving men and thereby evolve. To aid my studies, I found twenty pics of human sperm magnified:
- This is what the sperm and egg look like if you conceive at a rave
- This is what Han Solo’s sperm look like after being encased in carbonite
- These sperm are like fireflies and the egg is like a jar with holes in the top
- These sperm are genetically altered, now there is less chance of having a bright red baby
- It’s a known fact that black-and-white sperm produce emo children
- If you wear 3D glasses, it looks like these sperm are coming right at your face
- Whoever this sperm belongs to, we’re guessing their family history has a Smurf in it
- “Follow the Leader” is not a game that sperm like to play
- If this is for fertilizing an egg, the sperm on the bottom left might have to go
- Healthy sperm resemble impressionist paintings
- The sperm has to get inside the egg, but the egg doesn’t want to look like a slut so it acts coy
- We’re really hoping that the purple stuff isn’t seminal fluid
- This sperm laughs haughtily as millions of its brethren die around it
- It’s obvious that fabulousness begins in the womb
- Since she has like a million candidates, we have to say the egg is not good at picking the best sperm
- Finding an egg is hard when you only have half the requirements for a brain
- We’ll never look at a lava lamp the same way, again
- Sperm often embarrass themselves by mistakenly fertilizing a Nerf ball
- We think this sperm might have eaten another sperm
- Do pictures of sperm remind anyone else of Van Gogh’s “Irises?”
