20 Pictures of Sperm under a High-Powered Microscope

 
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    May 8, 2012 at 6:30 am

    Turns out, I have slow swimmers. My wife thinks it’s due to stress but I suspect it’s due to the 16 years where I rode a bicycle with no seat. I figure if I studied up on sperm, or at least looked at pics of sperm under a high-powered microscope, I might gain the knowledge needed to create fast-moving men and thereby evolve.  To aid my studies, I found twenty pics of human sperm magnified:

     

     

    Sperm and Egg
    This is what the sperm and egg look like if you conceive at a rave

     

    Sperm
    This is what Han Solo’s sperm look like after being encased in carbonite

     

    Glowing Sperm
    These sperm are like fireflies and the egg is like a jar with holes in the top

     

    Genetically Altered Sperm
    These sperm are genetically altered, now there is less chance of having a bright red baby

     

    Black and White Sperm
    It’s a known fact that black-and-white sperm produce emo children

     

    Sperm like pins
    If you wear 3D glasses, it looks like these sperm are coming right at your face

     

    Blue Sperm
    Whoever this sperm belongs to, we’re guessing their family history has a Smurf in it

     

    Swimming Sperm
    “Follow the Leader” is not a game that sperm like to play

     

    Different pics of sperm
    If this is for fertilizing an egg, the sperm on the bottom left might have to go

     

     

    Single Sperm
    Healthy sperm resemble impressionist paintings

     

    Sperm and egg
    The sperm has to get inside the egg, but the egg doesn’t want to look like a slut so it acts coy

     

    Red Sperm
    We’re really hoping that the purple stuff isn’t seminal fluid

     

    Sperm fertilizing egg
    This sperm laughs haughtily as millions of its brethren die around it
    Pink Sperm
    It’s obvious that fabulousness begins in the womb

     

    Tiny Sperm
    Since she has like a million candidates, we have to say the egg is not good at picking the best sperm

     

    Sperm which are blue
    Finding an egg is hard when you only have half the requirements for a brain

     

    Glowing green sperm
    We’ll never look at a lava lamp the same way, again

     

    Sperm on an egg
    Sperm often embarrass themselves by mistakenly fertilizing a Nerf ball

     

    Long purple sperm
    We think this sperm might have eaten another sperm

     

    Blue Green Sperm
    Do pictures of sperm remind anyone else of Van Gogh’s “Irises?”

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     
     
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