Top 5 Things Shaquille O’Neal Plans To Do, Now That He Has His Doctor’s Degree
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Oh, it’s true.
1. Become a therapist specializing in people who fear getting dunked on
2. 90 minute Johns Hopkins lecture about why Nestle makes the best caramel
3. Finally fill the void unoccupied by Dr. Scholl’s with “Dr. O’Neal’s XXXL Sneaker Odor Eaters”
4. Write a 250-page dissertational response to each of Kobe Bryant’s disses
5. Finally make the rank of detective so he can start going undercover in disguise
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