First 5 Things the New President of France Will Do Upon Taking Office
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1. Raise the age for mandatory sex education from four years old to a much more sensible six.
2. Switch national currency from the Euro to blades of grass from his backyard.
3. Execute job growth plan to create CSI: Paris and hire all of France’s unemployed as extras
4. Commission plans for a line of vehicles that run on disdain and body odor
5. Pass that wicked gas he’s been holding in for six months


