Top 5 Ways the Dead Michael Jackson Will Be Used To Sell Pepsi
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1. Remake “Thriller” starring a real corpse
2. Instead of his hair catching fire on-camera, they just cremate him
3. Holographic duet with Tupac at next Coachella
4. Declare his bid for U.S. President as a member of the Refreshmocrat political party
5. Pepsi threatens America to buy their cola or else Pepsi will scar the memory of their childhood heroes



