• by Evan Hoovler
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May 4, 2012 at 6:30 am

Yes, this is really happening

1. Remake “Thriller” starring a real corpse

2. Instead of his hair catching fire on-camera, they just cremate him

3. Holographic duet with Tupac at next Coachella

4. Declare his bid for U.S. President as a member of the Refreshmocrat political party

5. Pepsi threatens America to buy their cola or else Pepsi will scar the memory of their childhood heroes

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