Top 5 Reasons Newt Gingrich Is Dropping out of the Presidential Race

 
  •  
     
     
     
    April 26, 2012 at 6:30 am

    Newt Gingrich

    1.  Afraid research into his birth certificate will reveal that he’s actually a 5,000-year-old alien with very poor human assimilation abilities

    2. Realized being president would prevent him from landing lucrative contracts endorsing erection pills

    3. Realizes he can make a lot more money under Mitt Romney’s tax plan

    4. No momentum for his push to teach all schoolchildren how to speak with a rich southern drawl.

    5. Plan to boost popularity by drugging and marrying a Kardashian foiled by his current wife

     
    About the Author
    Hi! I'm editor-and-chief of EgoTV. It is my main goal in life to ease the pain of your workday with humor. If you found this article entertaining, please share it. I'm always checking our Facebook page for reader input, so if you have some go here: http://goo.gl/bHi3V
     
     
    Speak Your Mind
    Tell us what you're thinking... and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!