How to Make People Hate You While Playing Video Games

 
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    September 26, 2011 at 6:00 am

    gamer rageWe all have that one friend that we play video games with who wants to win and doesn’t care how. Even if he can’t win, he’ll make sure that you don’t either. All the way from Pong to the newest Call of Duty, they haven’t changed the way that they’ve acted and we haven’t been any less pissed off at them. Here are the Top 10 Ways to Make People Hate You While Playing Video Games:

    Unplugging the Controller

    connectorOops. That’s what he says when you suddenly can’t control your character. His guy gets free reign over the screen for a good ten seconds while he’s saying, “What? Huh? I can’t hear you?” Before the age of wireless controllers, all it took is one well timed foot swipe and swift yank and you lost the match. But the jokes on them because they might have just lost something much more important… a friendship.

    Using a Strategy Guide During the Game

    game stragegy guideIt’s one thing to want to know the controls for a game. Its another one to waste ten minutes trying to figure out how to Dodge-Roll-Parry Combo into a Level 2 special move. Put down the book and play already! Sometimes what makes this even worse is when you know they have the game at home. You have the manual! You should know this by now, you moron!

    Screen Peeking

    You’re playing a split-screen game with some buddies and you’ve very stealthily hid yourself in the darkest corner of the largest room on a multi-player map. You’ve lined the staircase above you with undetectable remote mines. You haven’t moved for minutes and have camo guns and outfits equipped. Then suddenly a sniper bullet tears through your skull! You look over to your “friend” and you see his quickly move from your corner of the screen back to his own.

    Reconfiguring the Button Layouts

    Ok, I get that you’re left handed or that you prefer Y-axis inverted instead of normal. But do you have to punch in all of your custom button settings? We could have started playing 15 minutes ago. Instead I’m watching you debate the pros and cons of having the left bumper be the melee attack.

    Stealing Power-Ups

    Nothing is more frustrating than having the same weapon you’ve started a Co-op game with and seeing your teammate have a tricked out gun and then grab a redundant power-up. You have everything already, you greedy idiot! Give me something! Anything!

    Only Using the Easiest Team/Character

    Eddy from Tekken 3, Guile from Street Fighter II, The New Orleans Saints. Those are the guys that are notoriously cheap to use. But that’s what makes this one the trickiest. Everyone has different opinions as to who is cheap to use! My Guile could be your Chun-Li. The New Orleans Saints could be the Colts or the Patriots depending on the year or NFL season. But one thing is for sure, you know cheap when you see it and it pisses you off to no end.

    Bringing Your Own Controller

    NES Max, arcade sticks, even your own DDR pad. A-holes just want that one little extra advantage over their “friends”. There are not many things more angering than someone who uses their turbo buttons that no one else has when no one is looking and then denies that they used them. Hmmm, I wonder how your guy is shooting ten times faster than everyone else?

    Glitching

    Your adversary will spend 45 minutes of a deathmatch continuously crouching in the same corner. And for what? So he can be even less valuable to his teammates. We get it. No one can kill you if you’re hiding in that wall. But you can’t kill anyone either so you’re useless, you moron. We hate you.

    The “Accidental” Pause

    It happens right before a big turn in a racing. It happens right as you’re diving for an awesome tackle in a football game. It happens right when you’ve started a combo in a fighting game. Those five letters come up on the screen: P-A-U-S-E. You’re buddy exclaims, “Dude! It was an accident! The “___” button was close to the pause button and my finger slipped!” That would be a valid reason… if he didn’t “accidentally” do it every time you played with him.

    Quitting

    We both know that you’re going to lose. Just have the dignity to sit through the rest of the match so I don’t have to go back to the main menu—(freeze). DAMMIT. Mostly blamed on 12 year old whiners, everyone has done it out of frustration and yet it still ticks you off to no end that someone can’t just wait 10 more seconds and let you bask in your inevitable win. They know it’ll still count in the loss column but it doesn’t matter. If only online feedback and reporting violations actually worked.

     

     
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