Metyrapone: The Drug That Erases Your Bad Memories

    June 1, 2011 at 6:00 am

    eternal sunshine of the spotless mindFor centuries, magical people called “Scientists” have been hard at work trying to figure out a way to say “Screw You!” to the human brain, and it looks like their quest is about to take a significant leap forward. Researchers at the University of Montreal are developing a drug called Metyrapone, a drug that erases your bad memories from your brain. There’s no way the mass consumption of Metyrapone can backfire and turn out to be catastrophic for the the human species, right? (see Total Recall, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Memento, The Bourne Trilogy, Regarding Henry, and Overboard for examples of how memory loss does not affect you in any negative way).  Here’s what the University of Montreal has to say about Metyrapone, its new memory erasing drug:

    “Metyrapone is a drug that significantly decreases the levels of cortisol, a stress hormone that is involved in memory recall…when we decrease stress hormone levels at the time of recall of a negative event, we can impair the memory for this negative event with a long-lasting effect.”

    Basically, you just take your Metyrapone pill when you experience something traumatic or painful, and then you’re brain is unable to remember it. This is great, because remembering terrible things never helped anyone do anything, right? Remember the Holocaust? Well you shouldn’t, because apparently it’s pointless. Here’s an example of what life would be like if you took Metyrapone, so that you never had to remember any of the bad stuff that happened to you:

    1. pazzammie says:

      You need pills like this when the planet is overcrowded! Unfortunately the US top foreign policy according to Secretary of State Clinton is population reduction. Theres too much C02 and the sun is getting hotter so we need to reduce the population fast.
      This is a great drug and it doesn’t list anything about any side effects so it sure sounds like a shortcut to happiness!
      I can see many applications for this wonder drug that will help millions!
      See, somehow they need to reduce the population by as much as 90 percent.
      I think these pills will come in very handy for some of the people who may experience bad memories of what they will have to do to achieve our leaders goals.
      The Russians in WW2 who cowardly executed (on orders)a Polish officers in their prison cells later committed suicide themselves from…you guessed it! Bad memories!
      I think it will help the military contractors who do things that cause bad feelings.
      So I imagine they might benefit greatly with this latest breakthrough drug from the pharmaceutical geniuses.
      Perhaps they could send some of this to Japan’s Fukushima Nuclear Plant and the people of the Gulf of Mexico who claim they are not feeling well after the green corporations accidentally poisoned them.
      I’m sure that this research hsa been going on for some time before the press release.
      I would imagine the BP ,and GE people along with top government officials gobble these things like M&M’s, and now that it’s all tested up we can safely go to our doctors and see if it’s right for us!
      Good job reporting this Justin!

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