7 Foods That Will Make Your Poop Change Colors
Pooping. Everybody does it. The problem with most people’s poop is that it’s boring. Poop is usually brown, maybe with a little hint of green if you’re lucky. Fortunately, for those seeking to stand out from the crowd of brown-poopers, there are some foods that will make your poop change colors. Looking to impress people at a party? Show them that awesome florescent pink deuce you just expelled! Here are 7 foods that will make your poop change colors:
Have you ever put a chocolate chip cookie in your mouth while you were chewing bright pink bubble gum, then spit the wad of slimy cookie/bubble gum out? That’s exactly what your poop looks like after you’ve eaten a heaping bowl of Frankenberry cereal. In fact, the cereal was so closely associated with PINK poop that people began calling it “Frankenberry Stool”. How cool is that? You know you’ve accomplished something when there’s a kind of poop named after your cereal brand. The stool coloring comes as a result of a specific dye used in the cereal’s manufacturing process that doesn’t break down in the digestive system, so it comes out bright pink. Frankenberry Cereal is difficult to find nowadays (though it’s still being manufactured), but keep an eye out for it around Halloween time, when grocery stores tend to stock up on Monster-themed cereals.
Flaming Hot Cheetos
Downing a bag of these spicy cheesy snacks will turn your poop RED. You should be aware that red stool can also mean you’re suffering from fairly severe internal bleeding as the result of acute constipation (which literally tears at the walls of your intestines) or even an ulcer. If you continue pooping in bright red after the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos are out of your system, then you should get to a doctor immediately, but if you’re looking for a good excuse to take a sick day, just down a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, show your boss the flourescent deuce you just laid, and enjoy the rest of your afternoon off. If you really want to ramp it up just to ensure a nice red poop, just gulp down a huge cherry Icee, chew your way through a bunch of cherry Laffy Taffy, or chow down on a boatload of Red Velvet cake.
The good news: there’s a definite way to turn your bowel movements PURPLE! The bad news: it involves eating beets. Lots of beets, in fact. But rest assured, once you choke down a few pounds of those disgusting vegetables, you’ll be dropping little baby Grimaces off at the pool faster than you can say “Holy crap! Everyone get in here, right now! My poop is as purple as Barney the Dinosaur!”.
This delectably dark Irish beer already has a reputation for yielding jet-black TURDS. Black poop can also be a sign of internal bleeding, so if you’re pooping black and you didn’t drink a Guiness recently, you should hightail it to the emergency room immediately. If you’re not so into pounding down milkshake-thick beer all night, try black licorice-flavored Jujubes. They’ll get the job done, and all you have to tolerate is an inordinate amount of disgusting black licorice flavoring.
You’d think that red wine would turn your poop red, but red wine is actually really good at turning your poop bright GREEN. Green poop usually results from a diet that’s high in fruit and sugars, so when you’re drinking gallons of red wine, it’s like overwhelming your body with both of those things. The result is a beautifully bright green poop. Green poop can also serve as a sure sign of constipation or diarrhea, since the chemicals that your intestines use to break down substances are green. It’s perfectly normal to have green poop every now and then, but if it continues for an unbelievably long time, go see your doctor.
Blue Velvet Cake
Do you want to make someone think that an alien stopped by and dropped a huge turd in your toilet? Eating a bunch of blue velvet cake will turn your poop BRIGHT BLUE. Most foods contain dyes that make them look appetizing, and some of those dyes don’t get broken down by your body’s natural digestive process. The bright blue dye that’s used in Blue Velvet cake (and the red that’s used in Red Velvet cake) doesn’t get absorbed by your intestines, so it passes through just like it came in: bright blue and ready to party.
Gold Pills/Edible Glitter
Believe it or not, it’s possible to pimp your poop out. If you’re looking to add a little bling to your bowel movements, save up $425 of your hard-earned money and buy a gold pill. It’s a capsule coated in 24k gold and filled with tiny flecks of actual gold, which your body can’t digest. The result is a sparkly GOLDEN POO log, consisting of the most valuable mineral on earth mixed with the most disgusting thing in existence, but pooping out a golden log will work wonders on your confidence level. For the more thrifty sparkling poo enthusiast, you can also pick them up in silver for a slightly lower price, and if you’re really on the outs, try some edible glitter. It’s made for cakes and cookies, but if you eat it and force it out fast enough, you could wind up with a beautiful loaf of glittery poo-fection. Just don’t try eating real glitter, because glitter is comprised if tiny sheets of metal that could severely lacerate your insides.Speak Your MindTell us what you're thinking... and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!