8 Unsuccessful Easter Candy Ideas

 
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    April 22, 2011 at 5:00 am

    For every successful Easter candy there are hundreds of unsuccessful attempts at making a new holiday candy tradition. Everyone knows the Cadbury Egg but few people remember the Year Old Cadbury. Companies try and fail much more often than they succeed.

    Here are six Easter candy ideas that didn’t catch on.

    Real Chocolate Dipped Bunnies

    People love chocolate. People love bunnies. Rabbit meat is delicious. This seems like a no brainer, but that’s exactly where it got disgusting, around the brains. Plus biting into raw rabbit is rough, not matter how delicious the outer shell.

    Smelly Beans

    The Jelly Bean Makers Of The US all came together with this bright idea in the late 1950’s: put together all the worst flavors that people usually throw away and market them as Smelly Beans. Imagine getting an entire bag of black jelly beans in your basket. Unless you’re into those types of flavor. Freak. Also, some where already bitten into because people weren’t sure if they liked them or not. The bags were discontinued a few years later after complaints that they were being used as weapons to throw at parents, family pets and clergy.

    Crucipixi Stix

    From the makers of Pixie Sticks, these special edition Easter versions were in the shape of a cross and came complete with a toy Jesus holder. The Jesus holder disappeared from the shelves on Easter Sunday. No one could explain why. Discontinued after everyone in the Vatican had a hissy fit at the same exact moment.

    Teets

    From the makers of Peeps, marshmallow chickens with huge boobs. In Easter dresses. Boycotted by moms because it sets a bad example for young women with body issues.

    The Easter Casket

    Baskets are nice but kind of old school. The National Casket Company out of Detroit came up with the Easter Casket idea; a small, replica chocolate casket filled with a milk chocolate body. Although they were quite delicious, the product did not sell. Here is a hint if you find any on shelves: put the body over an open flame for a cream-y treat.

    Cadbury Year-Old Eggs

    Actually, most of the Cadbury eggs on the shelves are more than a year old (store owners usually store them in their shirt pockets until it’s time for display) but Cadbury had the idea to actual label them “year old.” Who knew people don’t like buying year old eggs, even if they are chocolate. Also, it might be because they all taste like rubber. Pockets are also where store owners keep their extra supplies of condoms.

    Edible Arrangements Of Meat

    Trying to tap into some of the money that gets thrown around for fruit arrangements, the National Meat Association developed an arrangement of cured meats perfect for the Easter table. It didn’t go over well with the public or the American Heart Association or Vegans or people that don’t find buckets of meat on a stick to be a smart life choice.

    The Last Suckers

    Jesus and the Apostles on sticks. Collect all 13! Judas will be the hardest to find.

     
     
     
    Comments
    1. KendraLee says:

      LMAO!

     
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