Would You Rather? With Sports Comedy Duo ‘Visitors Locker Room’

    March 31, 2011 at 8:00 am

    This weeks Would You Rather? features Chicago-based Sports Comedy duo Visitors Locker Room. VLR is the brain child of award-winning Chicago comedians Sean Flannery and CJ Sullivan. These guys love sports, but hate the way they’re covered (and who doesn’t?), so they decided to take matters into their own hands and tackle the latest sports news with a humorous twist that’s about ten billion times more entertaining than anything you’ll see on Sports Center. Tune into their live podcast Mondays and Fridays at 3pm CST at visitorslockerroom.com. While you’re there, be sure to check out the show archive, blogs, and videos, and buy their brand new album: Sports Combat Comedy. Let’s get to the tough questions:

    Would You Rather…paint an entire house with a model plane paintbrush OR mow the lawn at Wrigley Field with a pair of scissors?

    CJ: Wrigley with scissors. I am going to quit both jobs a hour into it anyway. At least I can blame the bad lawn at Wrigley on crab grass or weeds. A streaky paint job on a house is like a cougar’s bad dye job.

    Sean: Paint the house. I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually cut Wrigley with scissors, given how sacrosanct they treat that park. If I’m painting a house, at least I might be working with some young guys; whereas, at Wrigley, I’d likely have an 80 year old man over my shoulder, screaming “more hustle!”.

    Be a bench player on a team for 15 years with one championship OR have three all-star seasons and blow out your knees and never play again?

    CJ: The all star, because I would have enough money to buy the journeyman’s championship ring, when he is down and out. Plus, I would only have to explain how I got hurt, for the rest of my life- the journeyman has to to proof he actually existed.

    Sean: The bench player because, in the long run, fans will forget a three time all star as thoroughly as they have a bench player Thus, it comes down to walking around town with that ring. It’s your best hope for cutting to the front of the lines or talking your way out of speeding tickets.

    Bet your life on the winner of the NCAA tournament OR the Masters?

    CJ: The Masters. Both are impossible to predict, but it would be easier to fix the Masters. My threats have a better chance of scaring privileged golfers than division one basketball players.

    Sean: Depends- if it’s open to the female versions too, definitely The NCAA tournament. That thing (the ladies tournament) is won by Connecticut every year and there are NEVER any upsets. But, if I am wrong, it would probably go down as the biggest bet in female sports history, which is kind of a cool way to go out.

    Blow a 30 point lead but be up 2 points with a minute left in the game OR come back from down 30 but still be behind 2 points with one minute to play?

    CJ: Blow a 30 point lead. You have the rare opportunity to win twice in one game and ruin the opponent’s season. You won the initial blowout, and then you thwart a historic comeback by stopping them. Somehow the storyline then becomes: they were the ones that choked for not closing the comeback, hence crushing their spirits twice in one night.

    Sean: Blow the lead. First, having a 2 point lead with a minute left is still a sizable advantage, no matter what happened in the previous twenty. Secondly, it’s a no-lose situation for your fans: if you win, they get an interesting victory, but, if you lose, they now have a historic letdown, which they can use as the perfect analogy when ever things are going too good to be true. Any sports fan will chose a lifetime of perfect analogies over short term happiness.

    Win $1000 playing cards in Vegas OR lose $1000 but meet a celeb and have the night of your life?

    CJ: I would gladly spend $1000 for the night of my life. Although, I’m pretty sure the celebrity would just be a sidebar to it and not the cause. I win a $1,000 at cards all the time, and it usually just leads to $3,000 bar tabs and the worst night of my week.

    Sean: Night of my life, for sure. I can say with certainty: if I win $1,000 at cards, my wife is just going to make me buy a dishwasher (which we don’t have). And, while that would speed up the household tasks, it’s a pretty terrible story so I’ll take the night of my life with a celeb.

    Click Here to Buy VLR’s Album: Sports Combat Comedy

    Visitors Locker Room ComedyFor more of Visitors Locker Room, check out visitorslockerroom.com

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