The Real Househusbands of Hollywood

    February 3, 2011 at 5:00 am

    The Real Housewives of every city in the United States has undoubtedly become one of the biggest hits in current reality television. With fake money, ending marriages and rented mansions, it’s obvious the average American who busts their back just to put Ramen on the table would get caught up in the drama.

    Hollywood is filled with Househusbands that didn’t quite make the cut to appear on Bravos ever-popular show. That’s right, Househusbands. These are men who no longer wear the pants in the relationship, but instead wear their wives panties from Lane Bryant and embrace the beauty of a weak menstrual cycle.

    Brad Pitt

    Princess Pitt is high maintenance, adopted kids as fashion accessories and dumped Americas Sweetheart for the unstable smoke show. Come on, she made out with her brother at a red carpet awards show! Brad would for sure be the ditz of the group often stating, “I’m probably 20% atheist and 80% agnostic.” Nope, just 100% vagina whipped.

    Ashton Kutcher

    The former model living in the past. Telling everyone how fabulous he was and how he’s “still got it.” Ashton married the ultimate cougar and knew he hit the jackpot when he woke and played Sega with Demi’s kids after the first sleepover. He’s the Househusband that y’all love to hate.

    Tom Cruise

    The crazy one. Once you jump on a couch and confess your love for someone, there is no going back. I don’t care how awkward your wife is or that your daughters name Suri sounds like a Sushi roll. Tom’s speaking out of Scientology comes up more often then his “Risky Business” whitey tighties outfit on Halloween. He wants the truth on his craziness, but HE CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

    Kelsey Grammer

    Soon to be engaged and soon to be married, he brings a whole new dynamic to the cast. With Camille being the most hated Housewife in America, Kelsey has a lot to prove. Money is no object, the finer things in life come natural and Kelsey pisses excellence when he wakes up. It’s time for this Divo to make his appearance! Frasier has nothing on him.

    Will Smith

    How much can he pimp his kids out on television? We want to see! After months of Willow whipping her hair, it’s a wonder how she hasn’t checked into the hospital for whiplash yet. This stage dad will be the talk of the town after he purposely throws paint on Suri Cruises new Prada shoes. Never come in the way of Will and his kids!

    You thought the women of Hollywood were bad, you just wait until you see what the men who hold their handbags are capable of.

    1. That Dude says:

      I love this concept! Would truly be a great idea for a new reality show.

    2. Maria says:

      This was so entertaining and fun to read, great article!

    3. Kendra says:

      Haha Loved it 🙂

    4. The Eggman says:

      I gotta be honest I wouldn’t trust any of these dudes to raise a kid.

    5. brocklanders says:

      What an incredible reality show that would make.

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