6 Thoughts Going Through Mickey Rourke’s Mind In This Photo

 
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    January 18, 2011 at 5:00 am

    Here is Mickey Rourke, coming out of either a late dinner with friends or a coffin for some late night neck biting. Mickey is not looking his best these day, those the last time he looked his best, Milli Vanilli was teaching the world to dance and sing. Sort of.

    Mickey has an interesting expression on his face. He is thinking of something to say or just contemplating some deep thoughts. Here are some guesses of what might be going through his mind.

    “Nothing twenty hours of plastic surgery won’t make worse!”

    He will get more plastic surgery on the mug. Especially now that he is actually a working actor again. One day, he will just be a neck and two eyeballs.

    “Bet you’re not used to seeing my kind out in the sunlight. I’m like one of those Twilight dudes.”

    Rourke has to be part vampire. He has no skin tone. Has anyone ever seen him outside during the day? Pictures or it never happened.

    “I didn’t kiss my grandmother with this mouth, I just decided to look like her.”

    Honestly, the guy looks like an old lady. Strike that. Old ladies at least wear make-up to look younger. Don’t do it Mickey!

    “I wonder if they will let me wear the mask in the next Iron Man movie.”

    Maybe all his movie rolls should now involve a mask. Maybe next he plays a football player or Mush Mouth in a Fat Albert biopic.

    “Collar popped? Check. Lumberjack scarf? Check. Dentures? DAMN IT!”

    He is searching around in his mouth for something. Get the man some Poligrip.

    “NEXTTIMETHEYCAN’TPULLMYMOUTHSOTIGHT.”

    It’s going to be hard for him to say his lines in a couple more years. It will also be hard to eat. He’ll be a fantastic whistler though.

     
     
     
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