6 Celebrities I’m Convinced Have “Planned” Relationships

    January 12, 2011 at 6:00 am

    It’s a proven fact that there are some relationships in Hollywood that have a “planned” element to them.  For example Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.  I don’t know the extent of their marriage contract but if you saw the concessions in there you’d want to vomit.  Things like how many children, and how long the marriage lasts before Holmes can see X amount of cash.  It’s kind of gross.

    There was something similar with Tiger Wood and his ex as well.  What the public doesn’t know is that this is common….very common in Hollywood.   But what about just relationships in general?

    I’m convinced that many relationships in Hollywood are staged and are literally contractual.  Can I prove it?  Nah, but it sure seems likely if you ask me.   Let’s take a look….

    Halle Berry

    So Halle Berry and male models.  What’s the deal there?  I think that first guy she was with may have been legit but ever since that divorce she’s just chewing them up and spitting them out isn’t she?  I’m willing to bet there’s some agency that’s just setting her up with these guys providing “length of dating” and “public appearance” clauses in the contracts.

    Jake Gyllenhaal

    First of all I wouldn’t be surprise if he were gay.  Second of all don’t you think the timing was just a little appropriate after Witherspoon and Phillippe split?  Jake was an up and coming star and Reese coming fresh off a breakup.  Is it a  surprise these two didn’t last?  No.  And now he’s with Taylor Swift?  Come on man.  Something fishy is going on.

    Reese Witherspoon

    I do think her relationship to Ryan Phillippe was real.  But I also think that every single one since has been total bull.  I just don’t buy it.  When she ends up marrying some ugly guy who’s really nice then I think I’ll believe she’s in real relationship.  I have no idea what I just said there.

    Scarlett Johansson

    Yup, she and Ryan Reynolds really went the distance huh?  Come on folks.  There’s NO way that marriage even had a hint of real to it.  A.  I bet they continue to have sex for years after this and B.  I’m secretly convinced that Johansson likes women anyway.  Would be a nice little caveat to this whole story.

    Kim Kardashian

    I’m willing to bet that Scott Boras is somehow involved here.   The guy is probably on the phone with the Kardashian clan 24/7 suggesting new athlete relationship deals.   The girl is right up there with Alyssa Milano with her scooping up athlete skills.  Granted Kardashian is hot and if I were an athlete I’d want to tap that too but let’s be real here.   It’s a little absurd.

    Justin Bieber

    He’ll eventually come out of the closet but for now I’m sure his publicists are trying to protect him.

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