6 Emergency Items To Carry With You On New Year’s Eve

 
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    December 29, 2010 at 5:00 am

    New Year’s Eve is fun but it takes a ton of preparation. Where to go, what to wear and who to hang out with to celebrate the new year.

    It’s also important to be prepared for the night of drinking and drunking. Strange things sometimes go down when half the world is hammered. It’s best to be ready in case of emergency.

    Here are six things to have with you when you head out on New Year’s Eve.

    A Concealed “Weapon”

    This is in no way advocating carrying any type of knife or firearm but it doesn’t hurt to pack some type of weapon in case you’re confronted by a drunk New Year’s lunatic. They are all over the place. Maybe something like a pair of brass knuckles or can of pepper spray. Just something to use in case you find yourself being mugged, kidnapped or forced to watch Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin Eve. Also, the high drink prices at the bar don’t really count as a “mugging” so refrain from pepper spraying the bartender when he totals up your bill.

    Hidden Cash

    You should have two rolls of money on in your possession on New Year’s: the first goes in your pocket and pays for everything and the other goes in your shoe in cash of major emergency. It’s not to buy MORE drinks or other illegal things I won’t discuss on this blog. It’s to get an emergency cab ride or to post bail. It’s for a REAL emergency. Buying a round of shots for the hot chick and her forty friends is NOT an emergency.

    Condoms

    It’s got to be the biggest night for one-night stands in the calendar year right? So no one can fault you for brining protection along. It’s not like a regular night where if you whip out a condom a woman thinks you’re a little presumptuous. It’s

    An Energy Boost

    You’re getting older and you just can’t stay up as late. Also, booze occasionally makes you a little drowsy. You need to keep up for just this night. A quick shot of 5 Hour Energy or maybe a couple swigs of Red Bull will keep you going for a few more hours. You’ll make up the sleep on New Year’s Day.

    Extra House Key

    There is a 50% chance you’ll lose your house key. Keep a spare in your shoe. The opposite shoe of the money. Unless you want to walk with a limp.

    A Vital Fact Sheet

    It’s happened to us all; drink a little too much and suddenly you’re blacked out. You have no idea whats going on and other people have to take care of you (jerk). What if those people have no IDEA who the hell you are. Keep a sheet of paper in your back pocket with your name, address, cell phone number and the cell phone of an emergency contact. Just in case you black out or pass out on a strangers couch, porch or wife. Also, write down the name of your own wife and girlfriend. That’s just to help you remember.

     
     
     
    3 Comments
    1. Rex says:

      I’ve got a bunch of flavored condams that I’d like to try out

    2. The Eggman says:

      I’ll carry those first two broads anywhere

    3. J Bob says:

      I would think either a fleshlight or a blow up doll are essential

     
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