7 Books That Should Be Updated For Celebrities

    December 6, 2010 at 5:00 am

    Have you ever been given a book by a friend or family member and told “this book will be good for you” almost like you’re so close to a lost cause only the written word can save you from a miserable life? No? Well it’s coming. Truth be told, some books are incredibly helpful. I’m not just talking self-help books either; works of fiction, biographies, memoirs and even historical tales can sometimes turn a person’s life around.

    Unfortunately, even the most helpful and important books get dated over time. How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie is probably still a very good book but some of the material and examples might be a little out of date. If only every important book got a facelift every couple years.

    With the help of Awful Library Books, I’ve found 7 books that I think would be very helpful to celebs but they are a little out of date.

    There are plenty of rumors about celebs that have open marriages but none of them seem to be making it work. This book probably has the right idea by keeping the arrangement simple but could probably use an update considering at the time of publication there were no such things as Twitter, cell phone pics and people looking to make a name off the lives of celebs.

    Plenty of celebs are online, especially on social networking websites, yet not many of them really know how to make the most of those accounts. Most of the time they do more PR damage just by going out unfiltered to fans and the public. Celebs need to take a lesson from this book that teaches not only online skills, but “laptop jazzhands.”

    Some celebs don’t understand what can happen to a baby when you smoke and drink during pregnancy. Perhaps they need a refresher course about what happens when you do horrible things to your body during pregnancy like smoking, drinking and wearing denim shirts. Although, that is a hell of a pour, so maybe this book is still useful in some regard.

    Some celebrities do the dumbest things to keep their names in the headlines. If a book like this can work for magicians, why not for other entertainers? “Trick number 1: saw your assistant in half but know where to dump the body.” Good lord that guy looks creepy.

    A look at drug abuse. What kind of look? Not sure. But maybe if celebs see other drug uses it might turn them off to drugs or this might just give them better ideas of how not to get busted. As for an update, there will have to be something added about drugs in a hotel room with a porn star. Just name the chapter “Charlie Sheen.”

    Because God knows hundreds of celebs need help with his topic.

    This book will explain to celebs how to save their money for the day when they aren’t pulling in the big bucks. Although, the time from needs to change a little. Making $50-150,000 isn’t a celebrity problem. Perhaps it should be “How to live off $50K per episode/appearance/sold sex tape.”

    1. you guys are f*ckt*ards ( fill in vowels)

    2. The Man says:

      Aren’t fetal and fatal alcohol syndrome the same thing?

    3. That Dude says:

      That’s what she said.

    4. The Walrus says:

      The picture for the Fetal Alcohol book looks like someone on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour

    5. J Bob says:

      You had me at open marriage.

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