8 Classic Movie Theater Intermissions

    November 17, 2010 at 5:00 am

    There are several reasons I don’t go to the movies. One of them being I like to be in control. If I want to pause the movie, get up, take a tinkle and grab some food I can only do that in my home or if I’ve got a gun to the projectionist’s head at the local AMC. I like being my own boss.

    I probably wouldn’t mind if movie theaters brought back the 10-minute intermission. Especially during long movies like Avatar and the five hour previews. I’d enjoy it not just for the chance to spread the legs and get more Funyons but just because the theaters would bring back the cool intermission cartoons with the dancing food. To really enjoy a movie I need a candy bar with tap shoes.

    Here are 8 classic movie theater intermissions. Be right back. Ran out of Goobers. Hell no, the concession stand here is too expensive, I’m going to the dollar store across the street. Don’t tell the singing Coke cup.

    I’m not sure if I want food or to dance down the damn aisle! What’s a popcorn thrill? That sounds dirty. Of course I’m a perv so it might just be something normal.

    What’s with all the tongues? And three minutes for intermission? Suppose I’ve got to pee? I’ll just go in this massive popcorn box. Oh, maybe that is a popcorn thrill.

    Was that a cigarette ad? In a movie theater? Filled with impressionable young children? That’s not the world I know. It’s not right to advertise smoking to kids. Candy, ice cream and fattening drinks is fine but no cancer sticks.

    I must have really done a ton of drugs before the movie because I swear just a pair of lips are talking to me on screen. I’m freaking out. Get me some Dots. I need to come down a little.

    Pep up! Fresh Up! Then fart your brains out from old hot dog and taco cheese. Of the finest quality!

    Eat candy every day kids. Ah, the old days.

    Probably the most famous intermission song that people still occasionally hum to this day. And by people I mean my father. And by my father I mean the man that lives in my basement. And by basement I mean my head. Hehehehe. Dance soft drink dance!

    “That’s not big enough.” I’m sure more than a few guys have heard that at a drive-in.



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