6 Celebrity Deaths The Media Is Ready To Report

    November 16, 2010 at 5:00 am

    Catching up on old 30 Rock episodes today, I watched the one where Tracy Jordan found out that NBC News actually had a clip ready in case Tracey suddenly died. The news people explained that they’ve got a list of celebs/famous people for which they’ve got death announcements already prepared and shot. Tracey wasn’t shocked that this occurred, he was more concerned that the report made him look like a fool as it recapped the events of his life.

    No one should really be shocked at the revelation that the media is prepared for certain people to kick the bucket. In an environment where ever second counts (especially when trying to be the first to break a news story) it’s not surprising that the media has things “already in the can” to be the first to hit the airwaves.

    The best question out of all this would be “just who would the news take the time to prepare for should they drop dead tomorrow.” This is pure speculation, but here are 6 famous faces that I’m sure the media is more than ready for the day they die.

    Charlie Sheen

    Not just because of his recent drug allergies and run-ins with porn stars, Sheen has always been a Hollywood bad boy and over the past few years has had how many cars stolen and sent off a cliff? It’s could be only a matter of time before Sheen is behind the wheel of one of those cliff jumping sports cars or on the bad end of a weekend allergy/cocaine overdose.

    Lindsay Lohan

    LiLo could possibly be on the road to recovery but the world won’t be completely convinced she is clean until she does a Spears-like 180 degree turn and becomes a straight arrow. LiLo could fall off the wagon at any time; be it a week, month or even year. They probably also have a Michael Lohan obit prepared because that guy will do anything to get into the news.

    The President

    God forbid it should ever happen (whether you agree with his policies or not) because the country will fall into a state of shock. Still, you’ve got to prepare for any situation in the news, and the President meeting his untimely end would be a massive event. This preparedness also goes for any living ex-Presidents and a couple first ladies and long serving Senators. Oh and Dick Cheney. He could clock out any minute.

    Hugh Hefner

    While the 84-year-old Playboy CCO and Editor-in-Chief seems to be in incredibly good health (years of sex will do that) it wouldn’t surprise anyone if his ticker just one day gave out after catching up on all those years of excitement. The Playboy creator will one day end up in the Mansion in the sky but he’s at least got genetics on his side: his father lived to see 80-years-old and his mother celebrated 102 years of living.

    Queen Elizabeth

    Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. She is Hef without the sex and bunnies.

    Mel Gibson

    Mel is volatile, on edge and a little too fond of the sauce. He could possibly go on a major bender and either wrap a car around the Hollywood sign or scream into an answering machine until he has an aneurysm. Actually, the media is probably prepared for Mel to do just about anything.

    1. Steve says:

      No Amy Winehouse? I’m shocked.


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