Five Ways Entourage Went Wrong

A few years ago I started watching the HBO series Entourage. In case you’re not familiar, Entourage basically follows fictional, budding A-list Hollywood star Vincent Chase and his hanger-ons as they navigate La-La Land. They (initally) live in a mansion together, bang a lot of starlets and generally screw around, doing really expensive shit. It’s basically lifestyle porn for up and coming twentysomething males.

Though that description doesn’t really sell it to any curious viewers, believe you me the first couple of seasons are more than a teenage fantasy: they’re really funny. Of course, most of this can be attributed to Vincent’s agent, a-hole Ari Gold (played by real life a-hole Jeremy Piven.) He’s sharp, sarcastic and hilariously demeaning to everyone around him

After an initial “finding ourselves” period, Entourage, wisely, began to focus more heavily on him. But lately, they pulled back. and the show has gone to crap. At least, what I’ve seen. I will admit up front I have not finished the latest season yet, so maybe the whole shit-boat has steered course. But I doubt it; because there’s five decisions the show has made that have mired it, probably for good.

5) The characters are too independent now

Part of the allure of Entourage was the idea that a group of friends could remain friends even if one of them became astronomically rich and famous. The point being, they’re all different people, but they’re in it together. Not no more. Now, with Turtle going to college, and Drama doing his own thing, and yadda yadda yadda, you have all these disparate storylines that don’t tie in together at all. Instead of one show, you’re making every episode four miniature shows, all getting more and more boring all the time.

4) We get it. Lloyd’s gay

Jeremy Piven doesn’t need such an obvious punching bag. The funniest parts of Entourage are where he takes down other aspiring a-holes stepping on his toes. We get it, Lloyd is effeminate and an easy target. But how many more gay jokes can they shoehorn in?

3) Drama isn’t funny when he’s successful

I always thought Drama’s whole deal was that he was insecure and a has-been. What’s up with his “rising star?” I always thought we were supposed to view Drama as the Joe Piscopo of pretty boys. So what gives with the success? If he’s already successful, he’ll have no time to fret over calf implants.

2) Eric is not cool, and I refuse to care about his girlfriend

I know Entourage requires a healthy amount of suspension of disbelief, but in what world could “E” be a Hollywood hot-shot? He’s practically charisma-free and not terribly on the ball. But that’s beside the point. Overall, he is easily the least interesting part of the show. Yet we are expected, time and time again, to give a shit about his equally charisma-free girlfriend. Why? Why?

1) God Damn Vincent Chase

Name one memorable or interesting thing Vincent Chase has ever said. Exactly. Even if he is that famous in the show, I refuse to believe he could get laid that much. There is absolutely nothing going on up there that a guy or a girl could give two shits about.

So let’s just make this The Ari Gold Show and get it over with.

(I realize the last season ended three months ago and the new one isn’t for another three or four. Whatever.)