Movie Titles That Sound Like Porn

As part of my extensive (and privately funded) research into the impact of pornography on society, I’ve noticed a curious and little reported trend. Porn movie makers seem to like taking legitimate movie titles and twisting them slightly for humorous effect. Of course I was shocked. And soon I was broke.

Did you know there’s a movie out there called Shaving Private Ryan? How about Position: Impossible? I know, right! It’s amazing! And shameful. To think that such fine movies would be greedily subverted just to ride on someone else’s coat tails. (Note to self: find out how much Porn Movie Titlers earn…)

However, looking over a list of some of the greatest movies ever made it’s clear that even legitimate movie makers are trying to cash in on this phenomenon. After many hours of research I have to say that I am now ruined for a good movie title because I’ve come across some that could pull double duty. (I really have to find another hobby. )

See what YOU think, with this list of Movie Titles That Sound Like Porn and their official loglines on IMDB (with a little extra added on.) Sorry. It’s kinda short. I’m finding it very hard to type all of a sudden. My hand is killing me.

Toy Story

A cowboy toy is profoundly threatened and jealous when a fancy spaceman toy supplants him as top toy in a boy’s room. And of course they’re all made of the highest quality, shockproof plastic.

Deep Impact

Unless a comet can be destroyed before colliding with Earth, only those allowed into shelters will survive. Who will they be? And why are the shelters so badly lit?

Howard’s End

A businessman thwarts his wife’s bequest of an estate to another woman. Hehe… you said thwarts…

Shaft

Cool black private eye John Shaft is hired by a crime lord to find and retrieve his kidnapped daughter. Unfortunately she ends up liking her new boyfriend much better and learns she can never go back.

The Bone Collector

Denzel Washington plays a quadriplegic homicide detective who, with his female partner, tracks down a serial killer. See. Even lame guys can get some action if they just apply themselves.