It’s getting colder… and even Washington’s greatest minds (and other body parts) need to get cozy… and some, not with their wives. As Henry Kissinger once said, “political power is the greatest aphrodisiac,” and as history shows, political philandering is as American as apple pie. When scandals emerge, they can topple Presidencies and end political careers, but at least they provide us with some sizzling scandalous mistresses whose beautiful figures will be etched in history for all time… though some, not so much.

So, without further adieu, here are, in no particular order, the hottest, most consequential political mistresses of American History!

MARGARET (PEGGY) EATON

Flirty, vivacious Peggy Eaton, born Margaret O’Neal, nearly took down the Presidency of Andrew Jackson, by causing a rift amongst the wives (and their bitches — aka politician husbands) in the Washington social circles of the 1820’s. The young Margaret perfected her flirtation skills growing up in her father’s DC boarding house, home to many politicians of the day, where she lived since her birth in 1799. She listened to the talk amongst the boarders, and soon began voicing her own opinions.

At the age of fifteen, she almost eloped with Major Francis Smith Belton, an attempt that was foiled when she accidentally knocked a plant off the roof while escaping. However, a year later, her father consented to having her marry John Timberlake (a relative of Justin?), but after they had two kids, Timberlake had to go back to sea in order to make a living. Margaret started again working in her father’s tavern, and word soon got around town that in his absence, perhaps Margaret was doing more than pouring drinks… during this time, she was escorted around town by John Henry Eaton, a Senator. Rumors around town suggested an affair was going on. Sometime later, word got back to Margaret that her husband had committed suicide at sea, and after less than a year of mourning, as was customary, she married Senator Eaton, then selected to be Andrew Jackson’s Secretary of War.

When they returned from their honeymoon, the other ladies in Washington, led by Vice President John Calhoun’s wife, Floride, snubbed her. The refusal of the cabinet wives to accept the forward, brash, hot Margaret was seen as a conspiracy by Andrew Jackson, who also had had his wife, Rachel, slandered during his presidential campaign (they were married before she divorced her first husband). This internal feud almost brought down the Jackson Presidency and eventually was a factor in John Calhoun being replaced by Martin Van Buren, who would later become our next President.

After Eaton’s death in 1856, Margaret married an Italian dancing master named Antonio Buchignani who was… nineteen years old! That’s right, nineteen…. only about forty years her junior. Madonna, at your heart out.  She had been convinced by her own mother that marrying him would be good for the sake of her four grandchildren…. but some years later, Antonio convinced her to sign her fortune over to him or he would leave, and she did, only to have him run off with her 17-year-old granddaughter anyway… ouch.

RIELLE HUNTER

Ah, fair Rielle… What are we to do with you? You may all know Rielle as recent Presidential nominee and Prell Shampoo model John Edwards’ recent mistress and (perhaps? maybe?) the mother of his illegitimate son,  but did you know that naughty Rielle has had quite the fabulous, torrid,  scandalous life even before the Edwards affair? Rielle was born Lisa Druck in Fort Lauderdale, FL. She dropped out of The university of Tampa and moved to New York City in 1984, where she dated novelist Jay McInerney. McInerney says he based the character Allison Poole in his 1988 novel Story of My Life on “Lisa,” who he described as “an ostensibly jaded, sexually voracious 20-year-old,”who hung with a group of friends that displayed “intriguing and appalling” behavior.  The Allison Poole character also appears in the Bret Easton Ellis books “American Psycho” and “Glamorama.”

‘Lisa’ soon settled down and married attorney Alexander “Kip” Hunter, changed her name to “Rielle,” and soon moved to Beverly Hills, CA. They divorced in 1999, after Hunter had spent some years acting small parts and producing short films no one’s ever heard of.

Then, in 2006, she was in a bar in New york, where she met John Edwards. The Edwards campaign soon hired her company to shoot 4 behind-the-scenes videos of Edwards on the campaign trail, for which she  was paid $100,000. Apparently, she was quite gracious, and awarded him with tawdry sex for the next two years, until she got pregnant while Edwards wife Elizabeth, was battling cancer.

Did you hear that thud? That’s the sound of a political career crashing to the ground.

JERI RYAN

Okay, so she’s not exactly a mistress. But Ryan was a political wife and one of the hotter aliens to ever grace the screen on “Star Trek: Voyager,” as evidenced by this photo:

Jeri was also married to investment banker and Republican candidate for the 2004 Illinois Senate seat, Jack Ryan. They divorced in 1999, and refused to let the details of the reasons for their split be made public. Why? Well, we found out in 2004, when Jack Ryan was slated to run for the senate against some guy named Barack Obama.

But on June 22, 2004, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Robert Schnider agreed to release the custody files, which showed that Jack asked Jeri to perform sex in public and accompany him to sex clubs in New York, New Orleans, and Paris, places that Jeri described in the files as having  “cages, whips and other apparatus hanging from the ceiling.”

Ryan soon withdrew from the race, leaving Obama to run against insane person Alan Keyes, clearing Obama’s path to the Senate… and the rest is history.

JESSICA CUTLER

aka, “Washingtonienne.” The sprightly Jessica Cutler went by this pen-name on her short-lived blog, in which she wrote about the details of her sex life in Washington while working on the staff of Senator Mike Dewine (R-Ohio), in which she detailed her active sex life and the money she made from it… I think there’s a word for that. Anyway, the novelization of her blog reportedly sold for $300,000 and got very good reviews, so I guess being labelled the “DC slut” has its advantages! HBO is also developing her story for a TV series.

Cutler, however has encountered some opposition along the way. She was questioned for her connection to the Manhattan call-girl inner circle run by Kristin “Billie” Davis, whom she lived with for a time and on whose website she “modeled.” Davis’ call-girl ring is the prostitution ring of which Elliot Spitzer was a client.

DONNA RICE

Donna Rice began modeling at age 13, and soon this  overachiever was also a University of South Carolina cheerleader. She entered and won the Miss South Carolina World beauty pageant, after which she moved to New York to compete in the national pageant, but didn’t win, and after a relative lack of success in New York City modeling and acting, Donna moved to Miami, where she worked as a television commercial actress for a pharmaceutical company and a small marketing business. In March 1987, she met former Senator Gary Hart at a Miami fundraiser.

Later that year, Gary Hart was considered a front-runner for the 1988 Democratic nomination… until rumors started circulating about his having an extra-marital affair. Hart then issued a challenge to reporters to surveill him, saying that they would be “very bored.” Of course, the same day his challenge appeared in the papers, so did photos: of Donna Rice coming out of his Washington D.C. townhouse.  Two days after that, the above photo of Rice and Hart appeared, showing Rice sitting on Hart’s lap in Bimini on a motor yacht named…. get this… “Monkey Business.” I kid you not.

Hart dropped out of the ‘88 race five days later.

NAN BRITTON

The sweet, teenaged Nan Britton concealed a (not-so) secret passion: she had a huge crush on her father’s friend, then-editor of the Marion Daily Star Newspaper Warren G. Harding. For those of you who don’t know anything about American history, he was also our 29th president, serving from 1921 until his untimely death in 1923. The young Nan would even loiter outside Harding’s office daily, waiting for him to come out. I guess the young Nan had an “kingmaker’s eye” for successful men.

When her father asked Harding to talk with her, the elder Harding took the young Nan on his knee and told her to forget about him, that she would surely find the man of her dreams. Very convenient for Harding, since he happened to be that person… Naughty Warren also happened to be having another affair at the time with another woman,  Carrie Fulton Phillips.

But later, once young Nan grew into a wholesome young woman, and Harding grew into a fairly corrupt Republican President (see Teapot Dome Scandal and The Roaring Twenties)… Harding totally tapped that. According to Nan’s racy tell-all book which came out in 1927, 3 years after Harding’s death, they once made love inside a closet in the executive office of the White House. (Monica, eat your heart out). Britton wrote the book to raise money to help her raise her illegitimate daughter, Elizabeth Ann, who she claimed Harding had fathered in 1919 while a U.S. Senator. In other words, she was 1920’s version of Rielle Hunter. Kinda.

It’s also been rumored that Harding’s sudden death while in office in 1923 was caused by his wife poisoning him, however, these accusations have mostly been discredited, as there is a broad consensus it was heart failure. However, Harding did die in mid-conversation with his wife, and she refused to have an autopsy done… hmmm…

PAULA PARKINSON

“Washington is basically a very horny city,” this quick-witted Playboy Playmate once quipped. “For one thing, there are more women here than men. And men can be jerks with women and get away with it, because men are so scarce around here.” Maybe that’s because Paula only hung out around Republicans. Lots of them.

You see, Parkinson not only graced Playboy’s pages, but was also a Washington insurance lobbyist in the 1980’s. One weekend, she took at trip with three Republicans down to Florida for a golfing trip. They were Republican Congressmen Thomas Evans, Jr., Tom Railsback, and Dan Quayle. That’s right. Our future Vice President Dan Quayle.  Parkinson later strongly implied that there was much more than golf going on, and a a Justice Department investigation was launched but stopped due to a lack of evidence. Parkinson has said that she’d carried on sexual flings with “fewer than a dozen” Republican congressmen during her stint in DC.

Railsback and Evans went on to lose their re-election, but Dan Quayle went on to become our Vice President. Why? Perhaps he was saved by this statement from his wife, Marilyn, who claimed, “Anybody who knows Dan Quayle, knows he’d rather play golf than have sex any day.” Umm, sure Marilyn. Sure.

But why just Republicans, Paula?

“I don’t do Democrats!” she replied.

TAI COLLINS

Also known as Miss Virginia, 1983. Also known as the lady whom Senator and former Governor of Virginia Chuck Robb (D-VA), had “champagne and a nude massage” with in a hotel room during Robb’s term as Governor. Seriously, that’s what Robb admitted to. Really? Just champagne and a nude massage? Then what? You said, “Thank you,” and went on your way?

Unsurprisingly, Collins remembered things a bit differently, and claimed that there was yes, a full-contact sexual affair that lasted 18 months with Robb. Collins told this to Playboy Magazine, for whom she graciously posed.

Robb was also accused of cocaine use, but denied these vehemently, claiming he “didn’t even know what cocaine looks like.” This, from the lead law-enforcement official in Virginia. A man in his fifties.

Miraculously, even after these scandals, Robb was reelected to the U.S. Senate in 1994… I’ll bet Bill Clinton campaigned a lot  for him down in there in good ol’ Virginy!

RUBY RIPPEY-TOURK

On January 31, 2007, Newsom’s long-time friend, campaign manager and deputy chief of staff Alex Tourk visited the mayor’s office at City Hall. The two had a “pointed” conversation according to an unnamed source,  and when Tourk left the building, he left his old friend to his own devices.

You see, the reason his buddy, the man who helped him get into office, abandoned the poor, poor, handsome Gov’nuh, is that Newsom, well… schtupped his wife. Yes, Tourk’s wife Ruby Rippey-Tourk, who was a radio personality and appointments secretary to the mayor, had slept with Newsom when Newsom himself was going through his divorce to his first wife (and now Fox News Correspondent) Kimberly Gulifoyle. in 2005.

Ruby had told her husband about the affair as part of a rehab program she had been going through for substance abuse. That substance apparently being Gavin’s “bully pulpit” … sorry, that was bad. No matter to Newsom, he was reelected as San Francisco mayor with 72% of the vote.

ELIZABETH RAY

“I can’t type, I can’t file, I can’t even answer the phone.” This was Elizabeth Ray on her secretarial skills. Then why was she secretary to Congressman Wayne Hays (D-Ohio) in the mid-seventies? Why do you think?

But when Wayne Hays married his home office secretary in 1976, Ray was pissed… Not because he married someone else, but because he didn’t invite her to the wedding: “I was good enough to be his mistress for two years but not good enough to be invited to his wedding,” she said.

Ray spilled everything to the Washington Post, and even let them tape their phone conversations. Here’s how one went:

“I ought to be good for one week since I’m getting married.”

“What about after?” asked Ray.

“If you behave yourself, we’ll see,” said Hays.

“Well,” said Ray, “what about my job?”

“Well, if you come in a little . . .” said Hays.

“Do I still have to s—- you?” asked Ray.

“Well, that never mattered,” said Hays.

“Oh, I thought it did,” said Ray.

Hays issued a rare public apology from the House floor, then resigned from Congress Sept. 1, 1976.

FANNE FOX

Fanne Fox was an Argentine  featured dancer at DC’s seedy Silver Slipper strip club, who took up with the most unlikely of lovers: Wilbur Mills. And yes, Wilbur looked like his name sounds. You see, ol’ Wilbur was the chair of the house Ways and Means Committee, a friendly, likeable guy who was also regarded as a super-smart whiz at legislating. Legend has it that he went home at night to study the IRS code.

Well, turns out Wilbur wasn’t doing that at night. Wilbur was at The Silver Slipper, throwing money around with Foxe, who referred to him as “Mr. Mills.” He even appeared with her onstage and freely introduced himself as Wilbur Mills. I wonder why he got into trouble?

Moreover, Mills and Foxe, both married to other people, had a notoriously rocky relationship, often getting into loud arguments in public places.

How did it end? Well…. not prettily. I guess all those hours going over tax code has a way of driving people to drink. At 2 a.m. Oct. 9, 1974, Mills was driving home from a party with Foxe and two friends. He was pulled over with his headlights out in West Potomac Park, and the police found Mills with his glasses broken and his face bleeding, after he’d gotten into a scuffle with Foxe. Foxe then burst from the car and threw herself in the Tidal Basin in the park. Police pulled her out and sent her to the hospital, where doctors called it an insincere suicide attempt.

Despite all this, Mills won reelection the next month with 60% of the vote. Wow, how badly was that district gerrymandered? However, Wilbur wouldn’t quit. He continued to appear with Foxe, and then even held a drunken press conference in her dressing room at one point. Only then did Mills lose his powerful chairmanship of the Ways and Means Committee.

Mills finally admitted his problems, joined Alcoholics Anonymous, and did not seek reelection in 1976.

MONICA LEWINSKY / GENNIFER FLOWERS / PAULA JONES / COUNTLESS OTHERS

Ahhhh, the obligatory Monica Lewinsky section. After all, she is the only woman to almost get a President impeached. And all because of an Oval Office BJ… To provide a bit extra on a story you already know so much about, I’ve included two other of the prominent Clinton mistresses, Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones. Big Dawg’s gotta eat!…. and boy did he.

ASHLEY ALEXANDRA DUPRE

Recently voicing her expert opinions on the Tiger Woods scandal  on daytime talk shows that the mistresses were “only helping him stay married,” you might forget when we knew Ashley Alexandra Dupre just as a young, innocent, doe-eyed prostitute. We all know Ashley by now… after all, she released her second song on amiestreet.com around 2 a.m. March 13… has anybody heard it? Probably not, but I bet you’ve seen her photos.

Ashley reportedly charged (or, at least, Spitzer paid) $4,300 for 2 1/2 hours. The “then” Governor apparently liked to get rough with the girls and do things they wouldn’t want to do, like have sex without a condom. But Ashley was his favorite, and apparently know how to handle “James” (that was his codename).

After the scandal, Girl Gone Wild guru Joe Francis wanted to pay Ashley $1 million for an interview for his new magazine, and not even have to take her clothes off. Then he discovered that he had 7 hours of Ashley doing just about everything on an old GGW spring break video and rescinded the offer. However, Dupre  happened to be 17 at the time, so we won’t be seeing that video any time soon.

MIRTHALA SALINAS

“The rumors were true,” read Spanish anchor Mirthala Salinas on NBC-Telemundo Channel 52, in Spanish on June 8, 2007. “Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa confirmed today that he is separating from his wife, Corina, after more than 20 years of marriage.”

What Salinas wasn’t saying that day was that she was the other woman. Nice, Mirthala. You see, the governor, when he first got married, combined the names of his and his wife’s names in an incredibly romantic gesture, but now, well, he’s in the less-than romantic position of being separated. He is however, re-elected even after the affairs, and show no signs of getting out of politics. Still our mayor.

And finally….

MARILYN MONROE

Did she, with JFK? Ohhhhh yeah. With Bobby Kennedy, too.

In fact, some suspect that because she was going to expose the affairs, that the Kennedy’s were involved in her alleged “suicide.” But that’s stil a matter of conjecture.  In any case, Marilyn wasn’t the only one, but she was definitely the hottest/most famous of JFK’s mistresses, so she gets top billing here. I’ll leave you with Marilyn wishing ol’ Jack a happy birthday.. Enjoy!