Bizarre “Missed Connections” Posts on Craigslist

Ahhh, missed connections. The place where the lonely, bashful, and sexually addicted go to post random messages, with the hopes that that supermodel they passed in traffic was so taken with them that they’re currently patrolling the internet, hoping to reclaim that magical moment and get it on with their desperate ass.

But whatever, perhaps missed connections works out sometimes? Maybe once? Or twice? Nah, that’s stretching it. But how romantic!

But out of the 50-100 posts everyday, there are some posts that just should not be posted ever because they’re just too funny, pathetic, or flat-out disturbing.

In case you’re new to “missed connections, ” there are a few distinct categories, the most basic are:

Horny dudes who see a hot girl but don’t muster the cojones to go say “hi,”… but think commenting on their “big, juicy” lady parts over the internet will make the hot ladies swoon:

Or this guy… possibly the same dude? Definitely a breast-man:

Ah, yes. nothing is as “hot” as talk of Canadian pension plans and massaging one’s friend’s calves!

Ew. Just… ew.

Ah, yes. The old “do you like my cologne? Cool, I’ll hit you up on missed connections” pick-up. Works every time!

Is this even a proposition, or just a “thank-you” note?

Then there are these wanna-be Casanovas make disturbing, stalker-ish, cryptic posts to women who they (probably?) don’t know that they think are romantic, but just, well, aren’t:

Or perhaps a completely over-thought post referencing the latest popular TV show with randomly capitalized words will work? Especially on the woman who is staying right across from you who you could talk to anytime since she’s staying at your hotel?

Then there’s guy’s who are just asking to become the victim of a story on the 11 o’ clock news:

Then there are the female posts on missed connections. No guys, sorry, most of these ladies are not the women you saw on the train and wondering about you in her bed at night while she touches herself…. No, these seem to be the venting of jilted lovers, bad romantic poetry, and definitely meant purely as the expulsion of built-up angst not meant to be seen by anyone in particular. But they do make for an interesting read!

Wow, that last girl was… wow.

Either that or they’re just trying to hook up with a doctor!

Inspired?… Well, happy trolling!