Sesame Street Closed Due To Mystery Illness

Tragedy marred the 40th anniversary of the Children’s Television Workshop celebration when it was announced that Sesame Street has been closed due to a massive Avian Flu strike. The origin? Big Bird of course.

It turns out the giant yellow bird of dubious origin has never had a flu shot and put the cast and crew into mortal danger by refusing one earlier this season. Mumbling excuses about the “old guy who lives inside me blowing massive chunks” and complaining of yellow feather fever symptoms, the kid’s favorite bumbling game hen kept putting off taking the shot even though it recently became eligible for a free dose.

You see, 40 years to a bird is like 80 years to a dog, which is like a death sentence to a douchey action figure,  so the Health Department felt BB was now part of a group at greatest risk: marginalized TV “Stars” who have outgrown their usefulness and minuscule educational value.

Plans to reopen Sesame Street have been put on hold until 9-foot dog catcher nets can be constructed by Frank Oz and George Lucas’ Dry Cleaning Guy in hopes of luring the huge fairy godfather down from his 40 foot nest high atop Mr. Hooper’s mausoleum / candy store.

Hey! Just kidding of course! Happy 40th Birthday Big Bird! You Rock! Now go get that shot!