5 Halloween Costumes Guaranteed Not To Get You Laid

And here are 5 Costumes (or costume types) that definitely won’t get you laid:

1. Puns: Witness the “one night stand,” the “good in the sack,” “shit hitting the fan,” “god’s gift to women” and the “chick magnet.” If you think the ladies will find this sexy, well… consult a therapist.

2. Anything relating to computers: I know, you worship Steve Jobs. You may be a computer programmer and think that hackers are the modern-day bank-robbing gangsters. But outfits like these will only convey one thing: You probably watch a lot of porn.

3. Costumes with enlarged crotchal areas or anything related directly to those regions of the body. Again, the costume might get felt (or accidentally bumped into)  by the drunken damsels of the night, but what’s underneath won’t. And sperm costumes, condom costumes, and anything else related to making girls think of accidentally getting pregnant… not a good way to get lucky. Besides, can you imagine the girls reconvening the next day and saying, “Yeah, I hooked up with the guy dressed up as a SPERM!”? Don’t even get me started on the bloody tampon.

4. Michael Jackson: Once he made girls faint in a good way. Now, he might makes them faint in a bad way. RIP Mike!

5. World Dictators: I know, you thought it would be cool to be a REAL bad boy.  But it’s not cool to be bad if you’re an INSANE person, like this guy in his King Jong Il get-up. That might be his girlfriend though… dressed up as…. Ava Braun?!

What Halloween Costumes do you think are a complete buzz kill? Let us know in the comments!  For Halloween costumes that WILL get you laid, check here.